


You're So Vain

by AlynnaStrong



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Pre-Relationship, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-20
Updated: 2019-06-20
Packaged: 2020-05-15 11:23:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19294747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlynnaStrong/pseuds/AlynnaStrong
Summary: Brienne’s friends compel her to sing karaoke, which ends up having an effect on some members of the audience.(Brienne kind of has a type is what I’m saying).





	You're So Vain

**Author's Note:**

> I think Carly Simon’s “You’re So Vain” is one of the wittiest songs ever written. Key lyric:  
> You’re so vain.  
> You probably think this song is about you.  
> You’re so vain.  
> I bet you think this song is about you. Don’t you? Don’t you?  
> 

“It’s not faaaair,” Brienne said, her grumble seamlessly transitioning to a whine. “Why do I have a sing a solo?”

“Because we were all supposed to sing together but you nope’d out of 'Afternoon Delight.' So now you have to solo. It’s just the rules of karaoke, babe.” Sansa pulled on her friend’s arm, slowly but surely dragging her toward the stage. “Better tell me what to queue up quick or I get to choose. I'm thinking 'Baby Got Back' or 'Push It.'”

Brienne scanned the audience in a state of panic. She was torn between not wanting to show weakness in front of friends and doing something so far out of her comfort zone. Even the alcohol hadn’t lowered her inhibitions enough to get past her innate shyness. Her eyes locked onto a young man out with his mates, and she felt her resolve steel.

“'You’re So Vain,'” she told Sansa.

Sansa took it as a rebuke for half a second before grinning and heading off to the machine.

Brienne gripped the microphone and closed her eyes. The audience faded back to a dull murmur, and she waited for her musical cue.

 

“You walked into the party like you were walking on to a yacht…”

Jaime broke off from his conversation with his college buddies as the striking voice hit his ears. It sounded rough and untrained but still effective. The singer looked familiar, an underclassling from his medieval history class if he wasn't mistaken. She'd dressed up a bit, but it was the same uptight posture. He wouldn't have pegged her for a singer, though. She stood out in the classroom because of her bizarre appearance, but she was introverted and rarely spoke up. The main time she had done so proved annoying, when she shot down one of his arguments during discussion. He surely would have found a response in time, but the discussion ranged past the point. Admittedly he’d been showing off and was surprised to find anyone else in the class who knew their material well enough to challenge him. Still, he considered it only a technical victory, for his pride’s sake.

Renly caught where his attention had shifted. “I’ll be buggered!” – he nudged Jaime – “and you know that’s not how I like it. That’s Brienne Tarth. Never thought to see her dragged up to a microphone. Sansa and Margaery must have slipped her an elephant tranquilizer. We went to the same prep school, you know. Sweet girl, but shy and no gaydar at all. She even made eyes at me. Talk about barking up the wrong tree!”

“Barking is right,” Hyle Hunt quipped. “One of my frat brothers tried to set me up with her as an initiation prank. Fortunately, headmaster Tarly caught wind of it and banned the Pig Parade before I had to go through with it.”

Renly shot Hyle a sharp glance but said nothing. Jaime felt increasingly uncomfortable between the rude remarks and the lyrics about checking himself out in every mirror. He tended to give himself a once over whenever he passed a reflective surface, but he didn’t think anyone else had noticed.

 

By the second verse, Brienne was invested enough in the song that she managed to open her eyes. She swayed to the music, unconsciously pinning the target of the song in her sights as she continued.

Margaery giggled and pointed out to Sansa that their oh-so-proper friend was clearly singing this song at someone near the front of the stage. She flirted her way past the bartender to be allowed to play around with the spotlight on the condition that she knew what she was doing. To be fair, she did, having a robust background in the drama society. On the other hand, she was generally stone cold sober when carrying out such duties, whereas tonight she was decidedly less so.

Brienne felt something like relief as she released some of her tangle of emotions at the very man who had inspired them. She’d wondered if she would choke, but instead found this cleansing, finally able to bring to the surface what had been percolating inside her for so long. Her voice dropped an octave to growl the chorus, “You’re so vain…”

Jaime tore his eyes from the performance. Too late though, his friends had noticed his unusual level of investment.

“Don’t worry,” Renly laughed, “I’m pretty sure she’s singing to me. We used to go to dances together, as friends. She never quite understood why I wouldn't call it a regular date.”

“Nah,” Hyle said, “she always said I thought I was too handsome for her. As if that was even a question. Everyone has their standards. Mine just happen to exclude livestock.”

“Not what I heard,” Jaime mumbled. The wench was clearly singing at him; he’d obviously made quite an impression on her with his esoteric knowledge.

 

The spotlight swerved in a lazy figure eight around the right section of the audience. Between her own giggles and the strong martinis doubling her vision, Margaery was having trouble holding steady on the right guy.

Renly shook his head and chuckled. “I think her friend is trying to signal that she’s still hung up on me, poor dear.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. She’s obviously still pining for the date we never had. Not that anyone would blame her, but it’s just not going to happen,” Hyle said.

“Neither of you have spoken ten words to her this year. It’s clearly me she’s looking at,” Jaime said, occasionally stepping to one side or the other to center himself in the spotlight.

“Just because you’re rich doesn’t mean all the girls will fall for your phony charms. Assuming she has the sense of a donkey instead of just the face of one-”

“My charms are hardly phony!”

“Wait! Just a minute here,” Renly broke in. “You want her attention!” He grinned maniacally at Jaime. “You want her to have noticed you.”

“Well I mean… everyone likes to be memorable… and she’s… interesting.” Never a particularly deep thinker, Jaime hadn’t really examined his stirred up feelings before.

“Go talk to her then, after she finishes. See if you were right. She’s a nice girl though, so try to tone yourself down by about 50%.”

Jaime watched her hang up the microphone, still unconsciously swaying to the music. “It would seem a shame not to respond to such an obvious summons.”

“Atta boy!” Renly clapped him on the back and sent him on his way with a big thumbs up.

Hyle cast Renly a side-eye. “You don’t really think she was singing to him do you?” he asked.

“Of course not.” Renly smoothed down his slightly rumpled shirt.

“Me neither,” Hyle said, giving his long hair a quick toss.

 


End file.
